take me right back to the shack, jack!
The last time I wrote I was talking about playing with Ivan, and I had high hopes that would work out, but for various reasons it just did not. I did have some fun, having all this drum gear over here was great, but if the idea was to make sort of a trio with Jeff, it just did not hang together.
As far as the CD with Jeff, that is on hold also. I was feeling frustrated with the lack of progress, and also with the way we were working. Perhaps part of this is my fault, but me trying to work out things by myself and just present them to Jeff is not really a good way to work. Consider that I would write a bunch of stuff on a song, and then a week later Jeff would come over and not like any of it. Well, we are supposed to be partners in this, and I have to respect what he likes, just as he has to do with me. The rule is though we both have to like it and so with only working once a week together, that is very very tough.
This is also tied up with the things I am working with, which in large part are synth tones. If you have ever played a synth, you realize quickly that like any other instrument, what you play is determined by what the actual sound itself is like. For instance, I do not play the same kinds of melodies on my saxophone as I do on the guitar.
With the synth this is compounded by the fact that there are an endless amount of tones, depending on what type of synth you are playing. Great, fascinating, and perfect if you were either working by yourself or doing all the composing and tone shaping with another person or persons in real time.
The other part of the problem is that Jeff is way too busy with his other projects, and has not thought about playing melodically for years, at least in the sense that I am thinking of melodies, and it is difficult for him to do. In fact it took me some time to realize that I could not possibly write music without him giving me a melody to work over, since I would have nothing to build a framework around.
So for now at least it is an impossible situation. Jeff will be very busy for the summer and I do not really know if after that we will be able to make any more progress, it depends quite a lot on him.
Once I thought about this I got rather depressed for several days, which is why I did not write at the moment, for it would have served no point. I did have to wonder what I would be doing, and why should I put any more of my energy into music, since the one thing I had going was kaput. Of course, if my CD was selling at all, that would be one thing, but it is not.
Over the past several months I kept thinking that what I was missing was the interaction with other musicians. You know for the past ten years I have been writing music by my lonesome. At first, it was just wonderful, and whole new world of electronic sounds to explore, and not having to deal with flaky band mates was wonderful. Learning about and setting up a home studio has been a great learning experience too.
However at some point I began to realize that it just was not enough for me. I had already given up on the idea of playing out live by myself with my electronic stuff, it was just too complicated, or so it certainly seemed to me. In any rate, I never got very far with it.
At the same time, I have found that my interest in music has been changing, moving away from the electronic stuff to something much more acoustic, namely Klezmer/Balkan/Brass Band music. This stuff is just so alive! And being a sax and trumpet player, how could I not like it?
Also I had I guess you would say an epiphany last month. We went to see some local musicians that play Balkan music, but Barbara and I got to the club way early, and were mystified by what we saw: two talented musicians, one of whom played real vibraphone and midi vibraphone, and the other played sax, flute and electronic wind instrument. The vibe player especially was kind of amazing with what he was getting out the midi vibe, since he was triggering so many samples, but what struck us both was how cheesy it all seemed. I could tell that the percussion was triggered from some ancient Roland midi module, but still, it was not the tones so much as the inherent deadness of the beats. And we couldn’t figure out for the life of us how this could be considered Balkan music.
It wasn't until someone set down behind us in the club and the guys on stage said to him, hey why don't you bring your bass up here? – the we realized that this new musician that arrived was actually part of the band we wanted to see. We had simply come way too early and saw the wrong band.
Later when we saw the Balkan stuff it was just great, about six musicians all very talented playing the rocking Eastern European music. And not a synth in site.
It got me thinking about what I had been doing for so long. For years I lived as much as I could in the basement, mostly working by myself, although there were periods were I made this electronic music with a few other people.
All during this time, it had been based around the computer, so I would work all day on the computer, then come home and work all night on it. True, I was writing music, and it was fascinating, but it is not the same thing at all as picking up my guitar or my horns.
I realized that I am tired of writing music, of that being the driving force behind what I am doing musically. Consider that for the past two years at least, this is all I have been doing, that is it, writing music. Staring at a blank page is not all that I want to do.
So I am starting another phase in this endless obsession I have with making noise. It all fits together in my mind: my serious interest in klezmer, which ties right in with my Jewish mind, the Balkan music, which kills me with the brass, and the idea that I could have some fun again playing music instead of always being down here in the basement, worrying about the next software upgrade or how to figure out the next insane Reaktor synth that some one much brighter than I has cooked up.
I am not saying that I am through with electronic or computer based music, or with writing more material, since I will have some drones on the new Mizna (that is Jeff's group) record, and that is cool but damn, I need a break.
Now I am trying to find some people to play with, and I know there are people in this town that do the kinds of music I am interested in, I just have to find them.
And just so you know that I have not gotten over Gear Acquisition Syndrome, I have gotten completely taken up with the idea of learning the bass – I mean, the acoustic upright string bass. Maybe its time I stepped up to the bottom, ya know?